The Rules

• Cars may not be kept in dorm rooms.
• Furniture may not be suspended from the ceilings.

The Rules

1. Do not throw wads of plastic jelly into the soup.
2. Do not wrestle while you’re peeing.
3. Do not throw things at the Christmas tree.
4. Do not roll logs down a hill if your brother is climbing up behind you.
5. Do not throw plastic apples into the cereal.
6. Do not run on the dining room table.
7. Do not pee on books.
8. After playing with a dead mole and before sucking your thumb, please wash your hands.
9. No playing soccer in the house.
10. Don’t put peas in your boots.
11. Do not wrestle while you’re pooping.
12. Don’t roll the tomatoes in your hair.
13. We don’t glue paper onto our shirts.
14. Scissors and clothing don’t go together.
15. We don’t suck on the door handles.
16. Kitties are not for drawing on.
17. Scissors and hair don’t go together.
18. Don’t stand on the computer keyboard.
19. No playing soccer in the house with ping-pong balls.
20. Don’t eat canned catfood with a spoon.
21. Don’t spoon canned catfood into your shoes.
22. Don’t eat Desitin.
23. We don’t stomp on people’s heads.
24. Don’t put ice cream on the kitty.
25. Don’t flush apples down the toilet.
26. Don’t scrape the tops of people’s heads with your teeth.
27. We don’t menace people with knives.
28. No playing soccer in the house with pieces of wood.
29. Please don’t eat kitty litter.
30. Cutting yogurt with scissors doesn’t help.
31. Neither does taping it together.
32. Sitting on the table, dipping your hand in the spaghetti sauce, and licking it off is not the best way.
33. Don’t crawl on the piano keys.
34. The kitties don’t want tofu in their water.
35. Please don’t wash the table with milk.
36. Don’t eat your shirt.
37. Don’t sit and bounce on the piano keys.
38. Don’t grind modeling clay into your own hair.
39. Please don’t wash your hands and face with spit.
40. Boots don’t belong in the food cabinets.
41. Please don’t wash the table with grapefruit juice.
42. No throwing Frisbees in the car.
43. Please get your hand out of the peanut butter.
44. How about keeping your feet off the cheese?
45. Let's not dance with the juice.
46. Don't wipe your hands on your sister's hair.
47. Don't roller skate through the living room holding a stapler.
48. Dusting the stairs using the sweater you're wearing doesn't help Mom.
49. We're going to pray, so you need to take off the ear protectors.
50. Licking your plate like that gets your hair in your food.
51. Holes dug in the yard between the back door and the clothesline must be shallower than 4 feet.
52. When getting sheets off the clothesline at night, turn on the outdoor light.
53. Don't get so wild with Mom's crutches in the living room.
54. Please don't put the snow in the car.
55. Could you take your feet off the table while we bless the food?
56. Let's not wrestle at the dinner table.
57. Don't pound hammers on the dining room table.
58. Don't pound hammers on the placemats on top of the dining room table.
59. Don't step on the icons.
60. Don't leave banana peels on your brother's bed.
61. Are you using tea to clean off the monitor screen?
62. I'm nervous about your feet on the placemat along with the dishes.
63. Don't run on the roof.
64. Please take off the ear protectors at dinner.
65. Leaving your ham on the beach towel makes the towel greasy and your ham dirty.
66. Water from the wading pool is not the best thing for washing your ham.
67. Wearing the ear protectors while singing as loud as you can is not always appreciated.
68. Could you try to eat your soup with your spoon, instead of with your hands?
69. Maybe you shouldn't talk with your mouth quite that full?
70. If you're going to curl up on the kitchen counter, could you take your boots off first?