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MMM JJT. џџMMM џџJJ def/SystemNCЖ [HH]:MM:SS,00 [ўџHH ]ўџ:џџMM:џџSS ,џџ00ћџNCЛTT.MM.JJJJ HH:MM:SS TT.џџMM.џџJJJJ џџHH :џџMM:џџSS  NCг T. MMM JJJJT. џџMMM џџJJJJ def/SystemNCд T. MMMM JJJJT. џџMMMM  џџJJJJ def/SystemNCе NN, T. MMM JJNN, џџT. џџMMM џџJJ def/SystemNCжNN, T. MMMM JJJJNN, џџT. џџMMMM  џџJJJJ def/SystemNCзNNNNT. MMMM JJJJNNNNT. џџMMMM  џџJJJJ def/SystemNCи T. MMM. JJJJT. џџMMM. џџJJJJDIN 5008 (EN 28601)NCй T. MMMM JJJJT. џџMMMM  џџJJJJDIN 5008 (EN 28601)NCкMM-TTMM-џџTTDIN 5008 (EN 28601)NCлJJ-MM-TTJJ-џџMM-џџTTDIN 5008 (EN 28601)NCм JJJJ-MM-TTJJJJ-џџMM-џџTTDIN 5008 (EN 28601)NCнWWWWNCџџџџŠBЌo‡‘М‹›Џ‘“ЃŸœœ†”˜eq‡‘Ш‹››Џ‘“ЃŸœœ†”˜ePНpЖ Уџџ2$99 €SAAPа/р=APdddAP d dSAAPа/р=APdddAP d dZSW5HDR.0И11 њC(569a(Build:5169)(SV569)]D!Address Book Fileџaddress!ђџџ Frameformatџџ ZeichenformatџџTextformatvorlageStandard Text body Heading  Heading 2Visited Internet LinkџџRoot 9 Graphicsџџ Graphic1 11џџ Graphic2 12Standard  Illustration Table TextDrawingdMЇj1 џџџџџџ4 џџџџџџ5*џџjK standard.dicџ soffice.dicџXsun.dicџ@ IgnoreAllListџY  .Y .Y .Y .6FN˜MT?ўџ%Riki Lake's Interview With Bill GatesSA @TъўџпWho is Bill Gates, the man behind the multi-billion dollar Microsoft computer empire? Underneath his nerdy exterior, is there simpply another nerd? And what does someone who has $17 billion and no hobbies do for fun? We called talk-show hostess Ricki Lake and asked her to do two things: First, do an investigative report of Gates for MAD, and second, try to avoid cleaning out Denny's entire all you can eat breakfast bar in a single sitting! She agreed to do the investigation!TIўџ>RIKI: It's been reported that your house is worth $40 million!T2ўџ'BILL: And yet, I married a simple girl.T)ўџRIKI: What makes you say that?T~ўџsBILL: She signed a prenuptial agreement that my shyster lawyer drafted! If that's not simple, I don't know what is.TnўџcRIKI: Tell me, what kind of a woman goes for an arrogant, unattractive, dandruff-laden billionaire?TўџBILL: All of them!TqўџW(Bill and Riki enter the Microsoft Headquarters and all the employees bow down to him.)SA @TжўџЫBILL: People used to stop working when they left the office. But thanks to laptop computers, people now work on trains, airplanes, buses, everywhere! Right now we're developing a computer in a washcloth!T>ўџ3RIKI: Let me guess - so you can work in the shower.T>ўџ3BILL: Yeah, well, otherwise, it's just wasted time.T3ўџ(They enter another room)SA @TwўџlBILL: At my company we encourage horseplay. This type of activity really gets their creative juices flowing!TOўџDRIKI: I've never seen professionals acting so childishly in my life!TГўџšBILL: Then I guess you missed Marcia Clark and Johnnie Cochran at the O.J. trial. (Then, to an employee) "You stupid, ignorant, knuckle-scraping primate!"A8 išTSўџHRIKI: Your employees must love you because of the way you speak to them.T*ўџBILL: It's called "tough love."TQўџFRIKI: What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk?Tjўџ_BILL: If you call it tough love, you can take the position that you're doing it for their sake.T[ўџPRIKI: With all of your verbal tirades, how do you keep cohesion in your company?TAўџ6BILL: We start each day with the Pledge of Allegiance!TDўџ9CROWD OF EMPLOYEES: We pledge allegiance to Bill Gates...T.ўџ#BILL: It needed a little upgrading.TШўџНRIKI: It's been reported that you approach software makers and offer to acquire them. But once you learn their trade secrets, you pull out of the deal and come out with a competing product.Tўџ BILL: So?T+ўџ RIKI: Well, isn't that stealing?Tўџ BILL: So?TbўџWRIKI: What do you think about the hate groups that have been spreading on the Internet?Tiўџ^BILL: I'm all for it! The more racist and xenophobic, the more popular the medium will become!T,ўџ!RIKI: Do you really believe that?T/ўџ$BILL: Hey, it worked for talk radio!TVўџKRIKI: Does the soaring popularity of porno lines on the Internet upset you?T7ўџ,BILL: You bet! I keep getting a busy signal!TrўџgRIKI: It's been reported in the media that you actually take your mother with you to business meetings.T!ўџBILL: So what if I do?T+ўџ RIKI: Isn't that a little weird?TVўџKBILL: No! I took her to my high school prom too. Would you call that weird?T4ўџ)RIKI: Uh, let's go to the computer store.TJўџ?BILL: We are continually upgrading all of the programs we sell.TXўџMRIKI: But when you upgrade a program, doesn't that make the old one obsolete?Tўџ BILL: Yes.TCўџ8RIKI: Is that kind of planned obsolescence a good thing?TШўџЏBILL: Are you kidding? Do you own a $40 million dollar house? (Picking up one of the software packages) This is our graphic interface software environment applications system.A8T%ўџRIKI: What does that mean?T9ўџ.BILL: Nobody knows! We keep adding technical words to the title until it justifies the hefty price tag. Let's see here....ah yes, this program shows you how to draw Fred Flintstone. ....Child psychologists say that giving a kid a computer today is the same thing as giving a kid a bicycle 25 years ago.TsўџhRIKI: Actually, there's a big difference. Cycling is an outdoor activity that promotes physical fitness.T.ўџ#BILL: There's plenty of exercise involved in computing. That kid will be walking to and from the store at least five times a week to buy new programs and upgrade his components. ....For the computer nerd, we've developed a virtual sex program. They never have to interact with another human!T0ўџ%RIKI: Great! It's like guiltless sex!TѕўџъBILL: Not really. Guys who use the program at work feel like they're cheating on their computers at home. The applications for computers are widening every day. Soon, you'll be able to get a checkup from your doctor over the computer.T)ўџRIKI: Wow! How will that work?TUўџJBILL: Filp on the program and wait for two hours until he calls your name.T…ўџzRIKI: You were aquiring software competitors at an alarming rate before the Justice Department intervened and stopped you.TІўџ›BILL: Yes, and as a result we've changed our focus. We're now planning to acquire an organization outside the software field which should end our problems.TўџRIKI: Which one?T‘ўџ†BILL: The Justice Department. ...Girls in college never dated me twice, and I don't know why. I always took them to dinner and a show.TZўџORIKI: Was it a Broadway show or a computer trade show at the convention center?T:ўџ/BILL: You think that's why I kept striking out?TcўџXRIKI: It's been written that you're so wrapped up in your head that you forget to bathe.TqўџfBILL: I can't be bothered with what other people say about me. Great men of science always work alone!TЦўџЛRIKI: (holding her nose) And now we know why! ...In interviews you've given over the years, I've never heard you share credit for Microsoft's success with it's co-founder, Appalled Allen.TРўџЕBILL: Just because what's-his-name co-founded Microsoft, he wants half the credit! There's no pleasing that guy! Okay, I'll give him credit, but I want credit for giving him credit!Tkўџ`RIKI: You keep saying you're worth $17 billion. What's it like to be the richest man in America?Thўџ]BILL: I have my good days and my bad days, just like everyone else. But there's a difference.TўџRIKI: What's that?TQўџFBILL: On my bad days, I still make enough to buy the island of Tahiti!TŽўџƒRIKI: You've made it known that you haven't left a dime in your will for any children you might have. Is that because you're cheap?TІўџ›BILL: No, it's an insurance policy. This way, my children won't blow my brains out for the $17 billion inheritance. You ever hear of the Menendez brothers?Thўџ]RIKI: There's something different about you from all the other wealthy CEOs I've interviewed.T(ўџBILL: Is it my wit and charm?TƒўџxRIKI: No, it's your body acne. Part with a buck and buy yourself some skin cream! ...Tell me, where do you go from here?T‚ўџwBILL: I'm going to run for President of the United States. I found a Vice-Presidential running mate who's just like me!TYўџNRIKI: Where in the world did you find another billionaire, technocrat fascist?TIўџ>BILL: Where have you been hiding, schmendrick? That's my man! 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